Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
