he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
