these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
