why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
