I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
