you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
