What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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