We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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