I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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