i was rollin on her like bob the builder
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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