The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
