I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
