we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
