i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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