Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
