im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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