kristin has been a bad kristin
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
But theres a keg here and me gusta
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
