PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
