it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
