Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
