i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Randomize
