Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He better not be in your backpack
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
