I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Panties = found
You left your phone here
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