i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
