Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
