Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
