Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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