Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
