Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
