apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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