Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
