the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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