Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
