anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
