Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
