shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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