Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
