as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
