Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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