last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You're like the curious george of whores
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
