Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
