i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
