Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
are you so shy because you have an std?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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