Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
