No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Green mimosas i think yes
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize