I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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