john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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