he wants to bone in the snuggie
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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