She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
