I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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