Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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