Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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