I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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