Sponge bath it is.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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