Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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