i think my tv is drunk
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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