No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize
