Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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