Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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