who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
