you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
