You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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