in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
