I need help removing her.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
