Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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