Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
